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Disturbing Army Memories


When I was with the Rakkasans at Fort Campbell, Kentucky, I had a couple of roommates. My first roommate was roughly the same age as I was.  He was from rural Illinois, slack-jawed and vacant-eyed. He was perpetually disgusting. His hands were perpetually down his perpetually disgusting underwear, scratching what I can only assume were

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The Morse Code of Mutual Marital Snark


My wife, Leah, and I are engaged in some classes for an endeavor of major consequence for our personal lives. It’s a cause we believe in, temporarily suspended when we came down with a case of the Nezzie over two years ago. The problem with these classes is that they are group classes, and they

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Shut Up, Billy Joel is Awesome


Tablet’s Liel Leibovitz offers us a rehash of Ron Rosenbaum’s 2009 Slate Article, telling us that Billy Joel is basically a master of evil, the musical corollary to Donald Trump. Eat my ass, Leibovitz. I wasn’t jiving in junior high to Trump’s Art of the Deal. Our civics teacher latched on to “We Didn’t Start

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Rosh Chodesh in Acadia


.יַעֲלוּ הָרִים, יֵרְדוּ בְקָעוֹת–אֶל-מְקוֹם, זֶה יָסַדְתָּ לָהֶם The mountains rose, the valleys sank down–unto the place which Thou hadst founded for them from Rosh Chodesh Psalm 104 Psalm 104 is my favorite because it channels all the grandeur of nature and attributes it to G-d. And I found that on a hike on an unseasonably

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Digital Time Capsules


John Chamberlin died at the age of 85 in April of 2001, and I have his computer. ✡ ✡ ✡ I frequently tell the story about my romance with KayPro CP/M machines.  I learned Pascal and BDS C on the KayPro 2X my father gave me in the 1980s.  I did my homework on that

Before and After


The only thing that stank about this record dump of snow was the loss of our mailbox.  Somewhere, in a drift on Baker Road, is the array of mailboxes belonging to our neighbor and us. My snowblower, which I affectionately refer to as “Black Betty,” easily conquered 32″+ drifts, once I realized the shear pins

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Sap on my Fingers and Tu B’Shevat


A few weeks ago, I cut some recent deadfall on our property to start “seasoning it” in our woodpile.  Last night, after Shabbos, I grabbed some wood from the wrong pile for our woodstove, and realized later that my fingers were sticky. I thought it was a cool corollary to Tu B’Shevat, where we know

Snow Days


The gematria for the Hebrew word for snow, שלג (sheleg), is 333, which is the same value of the word שכחה (shich’cha) for forgetfulness. Parents of children out of Maine schools for two, possibly three days, may be worried about forgetfulness when it comes to academics. Some rabbi, and I’m never going to remember the source,

About Me

Brian Kresge

Brian Kresge

Writer, soldier, programmer, father, musician, Heeb, living in the woods of the Maine Midcoast with three ladies and a dog.

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